


Monster

by mckvch (RaiseYourVoice)



Series: Saphael Week 2017 [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Bane Chronicles - Sarah Rees Brennan & Cassandra Clare & Maureen Johnson, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Canon Compliant, Episode: s01e08 Bad Blood, Gen, Saphael Week 2017, Scene Re-Write, Vampire Turning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-30 04:16:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12100521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaiseYourVoice/pseuds/mckvch
Summary: Raphael resisted the urge to flinch away from the accusation, the pure hatred seeping in between every spoken syllable and pouring from Simon’s quivering, blood-tainted lips that revealed a hint of fangs every other word.“I didn’t—”“Sure. Of course, you didn’t. You just happen to be the only vampire around after I dug myself out of a damn grave, blood all over me,” Simon spat and his still boyishly soft features were now hard and icy, the cold light of a streetlamp nearby casting harsh shadows to underline every edge to his words. “You’re a monster!”





	Monster

**Author's Note:**

> My contribution to the **Saphael Week 2017**.  
>  This one is for _Day 1 - Favourite Saphael moment/scene/quote or canon rewrite_.
> 
> It's kind of a wannabe scene re-write and not necessarily my favourite scene but I guess it's around there where Saphael started so...it definitely is an important moment for our beloved vampire boyfriends ;D

Raphael sighed when he saw Simon speed away, the utterly shocked and thoroughly disgusted expression from the boy’s blood-smeared face still clear on his mind. He couldn’t deny that a part of him liked the fact that Simon was now one of them but his unbeating heart still hurt for the boy because it was another life lost to the darkness and the cold hands of the shadow world. Camille would pay for this, that much was certain.

“I will take care of him, I promise.” The words left Raphael’s lips like he was on autopilot, his sole focus on the sound of Simon’s footsteps on the pavement that his sensitive hearing was easily able to catch even from the distance. He didn’t pay too much attention to Jace who was holding the crying redhead in his arms when he turned around to leave the scene as well, using his vampire speed to disappear in the blink of an eye to easily catch up with the newborn fledgeling whose panic hung heavy in the air around him.

“Wait, let me help you,” Raphael said after stopping the other boy who was breathing heavy out of habit, not because he actually needed the air. It would take a long time to get rid of this automatic body reaction to running or just breathing in general. It had taken Raphael months to slowly stop with the unnecessary breathing.

“Help? I don’t need _your_ help!” Simon’s voice cracked on nearly every word, shaking with terror that was currently flooding his whole system. His eyes were wide and Raphael briefly wondered if this was what Magnus had been faced with back when they had met for the first time. When the warlock had saved his life and, for weeks, had been the only thing keeping Raphael moderately sane through the transition from living human to undead creature of the night.

“I know what you’re going through, Simon. Please, I—”

“Oh, you know that, do you?! Then why did you do this to me?!”

Raphael resisted the urge to flinch away from the accusation, the pure hatred seeping in between every spoken syllable and pouring from Simon’s quivering, blood-tainted lips that revealed a hint of fangs every other word.

“I didn’t—”

“Sure. Of course, you didn’t. You just happen to be the only vampire around after I dug myself out of a damn grave, blood all over me,” Simon spat and his still boyishly soft features were now hard and icy, the cold light of a streetlamp nearby casting harsh shadows to underline every edge to his words. “You’re a monster!”

This time, Raphael was unable to hold back a barely there flinch, his lips pressing into a thin line and eyebrows drawing together. He knew that already, had always known it and even though Raphael had learned to live with the fact that he was indeed what could be considered a monster, it didn’t mean he had ever stopped seeing himself as one. He had merely learnt to not say it out loud anymore.

“I—” Simon paused, his already impossibly wide eyes getting just a tad larger and his face becoming paler, forming an even starker contrast to the red of the blood that was only drying very slowly, already showing a slightly more brownish colour. “ _I_ am a monster.”

The words were barely above a whisper, a shocked realisation, and it pained Raphael a lot more than being called a monster himself. He had been at this point. Even after decades, the memories of just this moment in his own life was still so clear in his mind to this day and it took every ounce of willpower in his body not to step closer to Simon, to grab his shoulders and somehow convince him to let this line of thought go.

It was impossible to get rid of this thought anyway—now, that it had taken root in the boy’s mind. He would spend weeks, months, years with this in the back of his mind and maybe he would be strong enough to let go of it again one day. Maybe he was stronger than Raphael.

“Just—stay away from me!” And with that, Simon fled a second time, shoving Raphael away with enough force to send the older vampire flying into a food truck parked at the side of the road.

Raphael glared after the fledgeling when he had gotten to his feet again, begrudgingly noticing the tear in the sleeve of his jacket. Well, this was going to be a lot of fun. Not.

Raphael didn’t intend on giving up on the boy, though, and he would make sure that Simon would settle into this new life that had been forced upon him. Not only because he felt weirdly responsible for the guy but also because Raphael knew that it was nearly impossible to cope with all of this without someone caring by your side.

He had had Magnus to lead him and, despite never having taken care of a new fledgeling before, Raphael swore to himself to do the same for Simon.


End file.
